On men

Alan Carr, Zohran Mamdani, and a very good week for guys

Sometimes, I think I hate men. Ok, not ALL men, that would be terrible. Just the men who are in charge of global politics, or are mean to my friends in love, or ghost. (Hmm… that is actually still quite a lot of men…)

But this week, all that changed. Men are so back. And the reason for this is down to two men in particular: the New York mayor elect; and the winner of this year’s celebrity traitors.

In other words: ZohrAlan MamCarrNi.¹

To split the atom of the world’s best man:

To my left, Zohran Mamdani - the heart-stealing socialist cutie we’ve all been waiting for.

if i had the photoshop skills…

To my right, Alan Carr - the terrible traitor who made TV good again.

…i would put zohran in the cloak

I think we can all agree, it’s been a tough time. The nights are drawing in, the markets are threatening to plunge us into another great depression, and it’s about to be mercury retrograde. But against all odds, these two men have shone a bit of light in the dark.

Let’s start with Zohran Mamdani - a man who seems to embody genuinely good politics, speak truth to power, and care about the cost of living and making life better for the working class in his city. On Wednesday, the day after he was elected - in a high voter turnout! - I kept bursting into spontaneous tears at just HOW GOOD it felt to see a young, normal, MODERN person with sensible and hopeful ideas be voted into a position where he can make real change. I’d forgotten it was possible to feel anything other than fearful, negative, or numb about politics.

Zohran Mamdani also met his cool, beautiful wife, the artist Rama Duwaji, ON HINGE.

Let that sink in…

In a world where almost everyone has lost faith in dating apps, this internet couple is having a seriously mollifying effect on heteropessimism.

as i have texted to 20 friends, this or NOTHING!!!!!!!

As for Alan Carr, the giggling, rosé-swilling fruitcake that he is, provided more laughs in nine hours of screentime than the BBC has seen in probably a decade of 24 hour daily programming. This year’s Celebrity Traitors (5 stars everywhere) has been so deliciously silly and fun that everyone I know has gobbled it up in delight. How wonderful to have a reason to get together with friends and crowd round the telly on a November night, laughing at something as fundamentally unserious as famed theatre actress Celia Imrie farting in a shed.

And - there was emotion! When Alan won, having played a blinder (admittedly against the most incompetent faithfuls ever seen on screen, but hey ho) he collapsed into tears, only to be immediately enveloped in hugs by MORE lovely men - despite the fact he had just betrayed them! The thing that made this season of Celebrity Traitors so enjoyable was the fact you could tell they were all having fun. Happy to be there.

It was that same joy that radiated out of Zohran Mamdani when he took to the stage on Tuesday night. It reminded me: some things can just be good.

Who would have thought that men would have made my week?! Not me! But they did. And I’m happy about it.

1. DO NOT STEAL THIS I HAVE TRADEMARKED IT.